As parents, we prepare for all sorts of different circumstances that may
arise in the lives of our children. However, even the most well-organized
parent likely did not have a plan for the tribulations of facilitating a child’s
learning while simultaneously managing the emotional, medical, and
economic difficulties of raising a family during a pandemic. There are
many aspects to helping children learn at home, but amongst the most
important challenges parents face over the next several weeks or months
involve the structure, behavior, and emotional control that their child
needs to function as a successful at-home learner.

Space and Structure
It is easy to underestimate the role that the external classroom structure
plays in creating an internal learning environment for a child. Desks,
tables, smart boards and bells dictating beginnings and endings give
children a way to stay on task and frame their work time. These simple
environmental cues help a child to get work done and enhance their
ability to engage their executive functioning system. So, to help your child
engage without the walls of the school, create a special learning space
for them, with a distinct singularity between screens used for fun, and
screens dedicated to learning. Calendars and whiteboards can help them
organize assignments and block out their hours by subject, just as a bell
schedule. While precarious at times, this is truly an opportunity to help
your child learn to internalize external structures in a way that they can
carry on well beyond the quarantine.

Becoming a Responsible Online Citizen
We all hope that the way our children interact online and the way
they treat one another face-to-face are the same. But, a peek at any
“comments” section of an online forum sadly reveals that sitting behind
a screen emboldens people to act in ways that are both unhealthy and
damaging to interpersonal relationships, as well as their own self-image.
It’s essential that students understand that once they post an image,
comment, or any personal material online, it lives there forever. Parents
can help students promote a positive self-image online by asking them to
reflect on these questions about what they post:

Would you want your parents to see or read what you posted?

Would you say the comment or opinion to someone’s face in the exact
same way?

Would this hurt anyone’s feelings?

How do you want to be seen by others?

Helping children develop interpersonal skills while simultaneously
protecting themselves remains an important part of online learning that
can easily be overlooked in the rush to complete assignments.

Managing Disappointment
Finally, managing disappointment about missed events is important
in order to keep up a child’s morale when trying to learn online. At the
outset, learning in PJs may seem fun, but as the year moves on and proms,
trips to Costa Rica, sports & activities, and graduations are canceled,
children and teens will likely be filled with a keen sense of sadness that
may be hard to gauge. When children can see that their parents are
stressed, or that the adults around them seem worried, they are less likely
to express their emotions. One study found that children’s primary reason
for controlling their emotional expressions was the expectation of a
negative interpersonal interaction following disclosure (Garber, 1996). The
EXPERTCONTRIBUTOR
Online Learning: Dealing With the Tasks
and Emotions of Schooling at Home
By Dr. Nicolle Ionascu, Diablo Valley Neuropsychology
job of adults in these circumstances is to help children feel safe expressing
their feelings, no matter how unsettling they may be.
As this unusual situation unfolds and parents take on the role of teacher,
primary caregiver and in some cases, therapist, it is important to keep in
mind that our kids need more than a just tactical solution. We must help
our children maintain structure, express themselves responsibly online,
and maintain a healthy perspective in a way that makes them proud of the
students and citizens they have become during this unprecedented time.
If you would like to reach out to me to discuss this article, my email is
nicolle@dvneuro.com.
Janice Zeman and Judy Garber, June 1996. Display Rules for Anger, Sadness,
and Pain: It Depends on Who Is Watching.
Oxley, C. (2010). Digital citizenship: Developing an ethical and responsible
online culture. ACCESS, 25 (3), 5-9.

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